I’m back

For a moment I thought I was out of the game. That was it. I was left out. Expelled. Repelled. Outcast. I was shown the door to the outside world, and once there, the world kept on. It was expected. I am not the center of the world. That’s not big news. But we all suffer from the same dementia. We have no way of scaping our own will for grandeur. No matter our stupidity. We tend to imagine things in a way in which the world delivers a safe charade to gallop lightly against the wind.

So we fall into despair. Who cares. Nobody does. Everyone is failing somehow. We are our own scrutinizers. Picky me is killing me. I see the beam alright. It’s inside my fucking eye, for crying out loud. Get off my lid, you stinking metal from hell. Deamons feed from my everlasting fountain of pain. It keeps pouring sour flavours of my agony. I am a pushy bully pounding dishes at my own dreams. How is this useful? It ain’t. It’s a fucking curse. And I don’t have the antidote.

I left the building long before Elvis. I am not here any longer, just like Fernando Frias’ film. I am nowhere to be found. Nor I am expected to arrive anywhere. Until one door opened at last. And I steped into the game. I decided to play again the game. The vehicle was quite nice and I found out I still knew how to drive. It’s not like we loose the capabilities that we have mastered in the past. Only I have wonder the world in search for myself, trying to figure out what it is that I can actually do. What I need to do, rather, to fulfill my spirit. Turns out I’ve done it all along, but the search was guided by my intuition that I could find it somewhere else as well. My calling was elsewhere, and not exactly where I was digging in the first place. I needed a way out, and I took a wrong turn. Somehow the system repelled my call to action, and I was driven away by my counter impulse to follow the path of major Tom in Space Oddity.

I’ve traveled back in time and I’m ready to lift up again. Even when I know I’ll end up in the like major Tom, drifting away to and endless motion randomly gliding accross space. To nowhere. As we all shall, at some point. So let’s not get hung about it. It’s a dream. And we shall chase this last dream at last.

Start the countdown. This is no ordinary countdown. It will take me to the place I’d rather be. It will move the space below my feet. But I’ll be touching the same ground that my steps will take me. It’s the motion that will shift. The intention to be heard. Or read. O followed. It’s a message to the crowd, to the soul of our Gaia, beating in a song that sings to me: flow.

Any other countdown would start with 10. But fuck 10. Why should we claim the 10ths of the world that they ought to be worshiped like Gods. What if we take a stap back and aknowledge another path for our emergence. What it we disregard all the values that have shaped us, just to start over, with a clean slate. To get a chance to begin again. Like Ulises in Brooklin. Or back in his neighbourhood in Monterrey. Even if the slow cumbias are gone. And the hair styles. And the Terkos. He still gets to feel what he was, in the middle of new setting that denies his past, his present and his future. But still, if he intends to reshape his balance, we might travel back in time. And modify his reality, the way they did back then. The way Fernando Frías allowed us to be moved into a new beat. Let that be my quest.

Disregard the 10. Let’s take 9. Circle around this other place. To find ourselves a new reconstruction of ourselves. We need not to expell the virtous in our history, nor deny the past of our cultures. The new beat should sound as if we are use to all the accents of our multiversal urbanity. Our new city allow us to shape a new capital in this brand new world. Let’s NEW everything.

Let’s do it casually. Let it be an experience in which we cheat history from the path we were supposedly taking. Just a while ago. The game we were so seriously buidling. The Alexandria library all over again. The codex recovered from the fire in Tenochtitlan. As if by chance we could rebuilt the ancient palaces in our mystical capital. It’s not everyday that a city is built on top of a lake. And still find it’s way to the saturate the space that was once a landmark of a unique civilization in our planet. Now gone.

Let’s go back in time. Let’s go forward, and deliver time in both directions. We sometimes think of time as something that has only one direction. Intuition tells us that the past is long gone, and presente is here, and here, and here, or rather, the future is pushing its was down our path, like the wind in our face. Let’s go back to move forward. Let’s blow our minds to keep sane. Let the children loose it. Let’s boogy, children.


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