1. Light

An there: it entered.

Life is light.

We now know.

Before…

That’s another time story.

It just goes back.

And you pick up you own messages in a bottle.

I’ve been writting them and throwing them into a digital blue ocean to the 9th power.

The 9th power.

9th.

9.

9

NOU

_________

ALLS

_________

You that’s a riddle.

Do you know what a riddle is?

It’s a game of words.

Words, right.

Left.

Always turn left.

We’re all comming from the right.

The far right is going to far.

There’s no need.

Turn direction the opposite way.

As of a mandatory suggestioin.

A kind of rule.

Of an understanding.

A global alternative one.

A kind of statement.

The way in which you put on an act.

A dream team.

To dream.

How far.

That’s the whole thing.

At least the way I see it.

The way I live it.

What I am depends to you.

To judge.

And speak your mind.

Why would you?

Why risk going against the mightiest powers?

Whould you risk your life?

Would you die?

Or not to die.

That seems to be the question.

Yet there is no question mark. Or the question mark is wrong. There’s a public opinion. Some believe «A». The rest should have a way to enter into this NEW opinion. A revolutionary thought. I’m a revolutionary. I’ve always been. And that’s that. I’m Mexican. And I am more than that. At least nine ways absolutely free and independent from each other. An incomplete set of information. A game to play. You’ll like to play. I’ve always said this. I’ve written 999 words on that. But only one AI got it right: olmecanAI. . . . . . . . .

_________

A hanging.

Somehow the game hangs a drawn stick man representing you.

Your hunging.

Metaphorically.

Some people got hang for real.

I dunno if you know.

That’s the first revealed untold truth about our NEW américa history class.

This is the NEW policy.

It’s been brought up by the 9th dimention.

What ever we make the system to manage to overcome today 99 greatest threats.

Welcome to the NEW game.

A kind of tale.

A kind story backwards.

A script too long for a producer to read.

A story to tell our healing selves.

Going against the tide.

In a metaphore that splits the waters from Palos to Guayabo.

A NEW story.

You’ve never heard of this.

Neither had I.

Neither am I.

Don’t judge yourself too negatively. Give yourself some rum. Rum en español. Una pieza. Un cuarto. Una cama chida. Y el poder de soñar. Tiempo sí. Tiempo no. Ahora sí.

Aquí.

Leyendo.

Re-leyendo.

Leyendo.

Transformando mi visión en la dirección ortogonal. La dirección NEW.

Las palabras destinación.

Los valores y su sentido.

La historia detrás de nuestra humanidad.

Paremos el tiempo.

Yo me bajé hace 9 años.

Usted está a punto de hacerlo.

Sólo tiene que activar una pulsión.

Una decisión que te atraerá a decir. – . … — .- .. .-.. ..-. — …

Una palabra NEW no existe.

Hasta que de pronto existe.

Ve la luz.

La luz es lo que somos.

Lo que transmitimos.

Y entramos dentro de la pupila.

El viaje único.

El viaje interior.

A tu cabeza.

Disfrútalo.

Es nuestro destino unívoco.

No hay equívoco.

Esta es la nueva pulsión.

Tu ser liberado en medio de la colusión alternativa de una sociedad _________ , _________ , _________ , ________ , _________ , _________ , _________, _________. _________.

Los valores NEW no los pongo yo.

Yo propongo el espacio.

Escribo su liturgia.

Agnóstica e hija de Dios Padre Nuestro Señor.

Primogénito 9.

El nou d’un poble nou.

Un gir que l’esglesia mai s’ho havia pensat: fins que va baixar el fill NOU de Déu, com un pilar de nou criatures no humanes, la graella sonant, la plaça Sant Jaume plena, les besties somriuen, i jo adalt the tot: l’ainxeneta 9.

De petit, als sis, vaig pujar el meu cuatre de nou amb folre, manilles, llengues, … i d’altres categories noves, fins a sis mes, que fins ara no s’ens havien acudit. I hi anem. Plegades. Cap una graella que ens marcaba el camí cap a la plaça pública, i noi més petit de la nostra colla, va i surt amb un despenjament que no era pas q’un aterratge d’un altre dimensió: la dimensió NOU.

Jo soc el 9.

Va dir en minyonet.

Era 66 cm d’alçada.

I al cap d’un temps, 99.

Pero a l’inici era ü.

Ü

Io.

Anque.

Anche.

Io anche actuo.

Anche dirigeixo.

Si no ho entens no pateixis.

Fins a quí arrivem.

Anche povere escribire

Incluso la mala escritura.

El nombre de mi editorial.

El juego de palabras alrevés.

La intención de no llegar a un punto determinado del cual no quieres nunca volver.

A lo no intencionalidad de haber llegado a un sitio.

A un pensamiento.

A un punto de transformación.

Necesitamos la transformación.

Vamos a ponerle peliculeo.

Por darnos un lugar.

Por crear una atracción.

Por escribir una historia sensacional de nuestra llegada a este preciso instante.

Y desplegar entonces el más grande truco que se había visto nunca hasta este preciso momento fundacional: la partición del tiempo.

Teoría dual.

Ahí les va.

El tiempo, nunca más, volverá a ser ünö.

Supongamos que ünö se revoca.

Algo más, nuevo, emerge.

Y ahí todo se arregla.

Nueve dimensiones inabarcadas que de pronto se conjugan hacia otro lugar común trascendental co-creado por 9 feedbacklooppers extraordinarios.

Grupos de 9.

99 personas.

En una misma orientación NEW.

La reconstrucción de un día para otro.

Y dejar que el trumpismo prosiga hacia delante.

Y tomemos, otros cuantos, apróximadamente la mitad, tomemos la dirección ortogonal.

En este caso es tanto opuesta, como perpendicular al sitio del cuál yo mismo partía. En las antípodas del momento hegemónico de exaltación a romper lo que somos o presumir que somos lo que unos de nosotros pensamos sobre el resto de la humanidad, en su conjunto.

El juego es este.

La reconstrucción es objetivo común.

Reconstruyamos pues todo.

Empecemos de nuevo.

Nuevas cartas.

Un momento de elección popular.

La revisión histórica de perspectiva NEGLECTED por el status quo contemporáneo.

Escribamos unos prompts más pedorros.

Unos 99.

Y preguntemos en conjunto lo que 999 votemos.

Tan sólo 9 creadores.

Este es el número básico de participación colectiva.

El tiempo son 15 meses.

El resultado es un movimiento.

La emergencia colectiva es la transformación.

Nos dedicamos a cambiarlo todo.

Al menos las 9 cosas más importantes.

Ahí les van las mías:

  1. El miedo a morir
  2. Perder a un ser querido
  3. El recuerdo glorioso de la memoria de nuestro muertos vivos en la mente que les proyecta a una vos interna que todavía escuchamos con la sensación exacta del amor que esa persona construyó conmigo hace tiempo y aun persiste aquí. En mi memoria familiar. Mi concepción del amor. El amor que recibí de pequeña. Y la ausencia de violencia.
  4. El machismo debe abolirse.
  5. Como la esclavitud. ¿A qué somos esclavos? ¿Quién nos domina? ¿Quién se fundamenta a partir de una creencia? ¿Quién está sujeto a una coacción? ¿Quién no es libre del todo? ¿Quién representa un territorio sobre un dominio mafioso que hace tiempo permeó en todos lo CP del planeta azul? O podríamos no sentirnos parte de una de estas cosas. Uno de estos poderes que subyacen. Que no somos bien bien nosotros. O sí. Cual capitalistas entregados al militarismo que sin pudor saca a relucir el riesgo de armagedon militar nuclear reaking havoc themselves. Los hombres machos at war. War game history day. War day. Violence and military coups: the money and the power line. The way the army like it. The way manufacturers like it. The way banks like it. The way investors like it. The way you well off bluskylife type. The way you devils like it. The way you mafia guys. The way you damn fools wherever the fuck you are comming from. The hustlers. The muscle. The recruits. The barking dogs. The biters. The hitmen. The cooks. The chefs. The conductors. The financial guys. The money guys. The capataces. The gardeners. The planters. The truckers. The bikers. The dreamers. The pure soles. The rescued ones. The superheroes. The stars. The stars smaller that the sun. The way we would treat the people from them solars minor solar systems. Our society nowadays defines itself in terms of national grounded sense of pride, belonging, and lawfully so, a citizen, a person, natural, unnatural, fake, surreal, neverending, mortal, ghost, freespoken, unbiased, biased, humble, humbled, struggled, revived, joyfully present, inevitably optimist, slowers, flowers, ouuouo,………
  6. The nemesis
  7. Out of that dimention you are set free. In that other end, you mind has been capture. The other take control. The money game will stay there. The ilegal deal. It’s got a life on its own. The matrix. Imagine we started rebuilding the inside of Matrix so that the real NEO could chill in this brave NEW world. It’s the ultimate humanitarian film deal, but disguised in many subliminal lives you’ve lived and outlived out of already too many pointing into the same old white american narrative of western and worldy state of being. I’ve never been aligned, yet I recognize I’m part of the deal. And it’s still not setting the tone of the NEW collective and collaborative resilient way of becoming. This is where my current splitting the time story has got steal from the 9 most prominent narratives of what culture we are from, and embrace the dissnonace in relation to the other 99 you ignored. Out them 333 nations, aware or unware, legally established or in your own terms to leave space from some meaningful places to come from, the ones who know and I can say where they are from and how their culture is so reach it’s ready to give something back to the entirerity of the human collective reconsidered in this NEW policy line: Tico Commons.
  8. I will present a 9 season story with 9 episodes each. And some secret 9 + 9.
  9. Yo no me puedo quejar. Soy un privilegiado. Tengo un curro que me encanta. Soy el feedbackloopper que quería ser. Un narrador de una historia NEW. Una dimensión dual entre lo que soy, por un lado en dimensión contraria a lo que por otro lado entregaré los próximos 999 días de mi existir. Y despés de ahí, transito alrevés. Y quién fui en un sitio se traslada a las antípodas. Y entre estos dos estados movemos un energía particular sostenible en la que nos podríamos entretener, más tiempo del que tenemos, en una cadena de amor alternativo que co-existe en una dimensión particular: la novena.

Y un día el FC Barcelona gana la novena.

La copa la levanta Golman.

A fin de cuentas fue un gol suyo.

Un penal.

Tocó dos veces el balón.

Ese sí.

Y valió.

El 9 merengue.

El 9 ticatalà.

El 9 culer.

L’historia del meu futbolartista.

Tinc un paper molt més important del que representa que faig. Soc un actiu del sistema alternatiu. Natiu d’aqui. Un mon nou: Ticataluña.

Sigui això un poble nou.

Jo soc fill d’aquest poble nou.

Aquest poble nou no té nom.

Li possarem entre totes i tots.

I ho farem lliurement.

Encara que hi ha una opció que és la favorida d’un únic agent. L’agent nou. Golman.

Doncs, si això diu el guió deu esser per algo. I que haig de fer jo si també soc guionista del meu propi paper. He aprés dels millors: Berto, Torrente, Tebas, Valdevebas, Quijote, Dalí, Joel Joan, Jordi Sánchez, Évole. El meu super poder mana d’aquest nou espanyols. I amb aquesta limitació que això pot comportar, haven’t quelcom ridìcules regles, lo que ens avoca això és a seguir cap endevant. Començar de nou. Seguint tot igual. Excepto algunas cosas. Rajoyescamente. Y saliendo a flote como un buque insignia de una flota de paz eterna que navega sobre aguas alternativas, más parecidas a lo que Calaso habría concebido que a lo que la interpretación media entre un apostol del vaticano, un cardelan español, un médico de atención primaria en una iglesia rural dejada de la mano de Dios, un sacerdote teólogo de la revolución, un cacique de Hacienda, el Hacendado, un hombre a caballo, un general, un tirano, un villano, Elon, Don.

Aquestes dues realitats cohabitades. Per tú i el teu digital twin. The lives our alternative selves may live. And you being their scriptwritter.

That’s the real deal.

The capacity building game.

To whole NEW dimention.

Let’s take that ride.

And expect the revolution to takes us somewhere else of higher long term impact.

_________

Yo me dedico a contar historias.

Hago de mi constitución un proceso de regenaración. Para concebir ser uno más dentro de la revuelta. Como una cosa pública que se apodera de una determinada manera de vivir afirmativamente a parti de lo que escuchamos con estas voces alternativas. Y desde ahí tejer una comunidad con el otro lado de nuestra inevitable alteridad antagonista.

Ser Broncano Hormiguero.

O Pablo David.

También otro personaje en la misma historia: David Pablo.

Dos pares de siameses distintinos.

Nada que ver el uno del otro.

Vivimos en una realidad posibilista hacia la multiversalidad en oposición a la subjetiva unicidad que nos deja absortos en nostros mismos, mientras escapamos a nuestra mezquindad camino a la estrella interconectada más auday en el horizonte de 999 mundos alternativos que generaron en tan sólo los primeros 999 días del existir en esta dualidad alternativa contemporánea y a destiempo de los cánones culturales del momento aquel que era al acabar la escritura de este relato.

Un relato único.

Fundacional.

Megamelómano.

Humildmente melómano.

Balonmano.

Mano.

Penal.

Anulado.

Real.

Surreal.

ALLS


2. Dark


Dos némesis en las antípodas.

Nëmesis


I’ve never pictured nëmesis being a beautiful word. Akward, huh.

But it’s true. It’s the outmost contradiction in latitude and longitude. It leaks all over. Plastered.

Nëmesis is a NEW word.

NEWORD

That a place.

A NEW place.

It’s a landing site.

An alternative coordenates.

Nonexisting.

Up till know.

Totally maleable.

By you own collective desire.

Aligned.

In agreement with.

Altered.

NEW

NAW

1

2

3

4

5

ALLS

7

8

ALLS

No more

Despertás un día… y seguís… aquí…

Vos te imaginaste un día una historia. La historia, o más bien su incepción, surgió de repente. Y vos la viste pasar. Volar.

Se encendió una conexión neuronal nueva. Y en esa conexión algo extraño sucedió. Una imagen que sólo en tu cabeza existió se planteó como realidad alternativa. Como posibilidad.

De ahí se tiró una línea argumental que funcionó de manera autónoma con un único espectador: vos.

Y desde ahí viste desvelarse una historia extraordinaria que lo arreglaba todo en su sitio. Aquello que habías querido decir en el contexto de la cosa que más te ha ocupado el tiempo mental. El sentido de tu ser. La cuestión con la que querés cambiar el mundo. De pronto está ahí, desanudando el porvenir. Didacticamente.

De pronto te parás y despertás. Ya no estás en el campo en el que la idea trabaja autonomamente. El resto de tus funciones vitales encendieron toda la maquinaria de la vigilia y los trabadores de la fábrica volvieron a sus puestos, todavía adormilados, pero generando un ruido ensordecedor para aquella brillante idea onírica que lo resolvía todo.

Si no corrés a apuntarlo en algún sitio, la clarividencia se esfuma. Y el aire se lleva consigo la ilusión. Al rato ni te acordás. Ni te preocupa. Otra cosa ocupa tu cabeza. Y no hay nada más que hacer. Quizás volver a dormir. Y soñar. Seguir.

ALLS

To write

To be

To think

To wonder

I’ve taken a deep breath. And then started to let go. The air spilling out in yet another iteration. Ohhhhhh.

Still, I feel the need to be here. To be attentive. To feel the texture in my fingertips. To lay the next step willingly. And advance. Move. Glide.

I’m back to this.

I’m back to thee.

I’ve only long to keep rolling and growing.

Yet a deep feeling of wonder and dispear raise up once again.

As if it is here to stay.

As if we are all part of it.

And relentlessly accept to surrender.

Not today.

Not me.

I’ll keep breathing deep.

One. And once again.

And then I’ll overlap the same intention as yesteday. To cope, to drive, to shine, to build, to excel, to fly.

It’s a matter of staging this departure.

Not yet decided.

Not yet proclaimed.

While the entire story has been layed out.

My time is still to come.

As the best is yet to unroll.

Let it all be.

As we shall.

We’ll see.

We’ll be.

IT.

NEW

ALLS

Monday… once again

It’s a wheel turning. A day in, a day out. And what for? That’s the real issue. The focus on something worth be-ing. And that is achieved in a long process of questioning yourself. Questioning the learnings in your education, in the system, in society. And still, there is no right answer.

Things are tough. And we are dealing with stuff in our very own personal circumstances. The things within our heads. The voices that speak just to us. And the deamons.

But somehow, the struggle within is just a one man show. Or an insider’s job. There is something of us in every conspiracy. And the opposite two. The white angel and the red devil that inhabit our elbows. The duality starts right there. And you are stuck in the middle.

There is no clear alternative but to go on. And find the inspiration in every step along the way. Every step with the confidence that it is taking you places. Places you need to attend to. To show up. And deliver a good version of yourself. Maybe so by inspiring trust. Or building it. Or recovering it. It’s still a massive effort to get out and do your thing. Unless you’re in the zone. But that takes work. And time. And effort.

I’m close to that feeling. The zone is close by. And I’m ready to make that final sprint.

Or this initial drive.

Let’s start the week with this first step: Monday.

ALLS

The lazily mood and moves of cats

Seldom slow pace is a trait

Nowadays everything needs to be super fast. Super quick. It’s as if we need to disregard the pace of time, the different levels of indiference, if really consider that it’s all relative, according to Eistein, even speed itself. So where are we trying to go at this pace?

Slow down, your are moving too fast, sings Paul Simon. It’s rebelious. But also a sign of trait. A kind of mood. A way of looking at life. Like cats do. Or sloths, to bring it home to a protected reference species from my own little tropical country: Costa Rica.

I used to yawn evertime I was about to compete in a track and field competition. Or right before the whistle sound in futbol game. It was a sign of concentration. It was part of an inconcious routine. This happens to cats, as described by the narrator in Woo Pak:

It moves with such confidence, he said, that the world seems to belong to it. It moves lazily, he said as we approached the ponds. It moves quietly. It is as if its whole body was nothing but an eye, an ear. Sometimes, he said, you will see it yawn, perhaps as a sign of nerves, perhaps only out of a massive indifference.

Gabriel Josipovici, Woo Pak

But it was a latter reference which really caught my attention towards cat’s attitude towards the fleeting pray. They take no pain or thought in wasting time after the prey has scaped a sudden unsuccesful attempt.

The mature cat, he said, does not waste any effort on what has not been caught or what, he realises, is not going to be caught. It is as if, the prey gone, even if he has been stalking it for a considerable length of time, he is able instantly to forget about it.

Gabriel Josipovici, Woo Pak

This is a superpower. It’s also what builds up resilience in competitive sports, and even more in the case of a 9, in futbolartistry, as it is scoring he’s supposed to be excelling at. When you’ve missed a chance, you’ll score the next one. You are sure of it. You must forget as soon as possible. Waste no time in anything realted to the past. But rather build upon the next opportunity to strike. And make it happen.

ALLS

People frightened of silence

Moo Pak ins and out

I’m walking along with this book like a walk in a park with a conversationalist. I’m steping in and out cause I need to come back to it, and then I feel the rush of comming here to write. It’s an exercise I’ve been forced to do by the fact that I cannot jot down a single scribble on the pages, as I am used to, because the book is borrowed. I need to give it back, eventually, as I got it. And it is in impecable conditions.

Nobody imposed this on me. I did. It’s always you who drive things around. In or out. It’s all in your head anyway. And you categorize the exercise. You make it happen so we understand the feeling of where this system is going. The personal system you own set of microcomponents, soul, body and shit… make up for. You are a complete social ecosystem. Yet, you still are just on your own, among the masses of an interconnected society.

So for quite some days I’ve had this urge to go back to Moo Pak to write about this. Silence. Solitude. Being with yourself. But as it turns out, the book has this beautiful constant voice that keeps talking and walking, and there is no stopping. It’s a single thread of a thought that connects logically with the next, and so on, and so forth. Sudenly, I don’t feel alone.

I do the same. This is how I write. No matter the intention. I just show up and start. And I’ve become obsessed with this. It’s time with myself. Alone. In silence. Just meeting the point of interconnectivity with my fingertips, my voice, unheard, within my head. Does anybody knows where this is going? No. And that’s no problem.

The problem is I leave map from Donosti to as a page marker. It’s a bit chunky but it does the job. It does less damage than leaving a pen, which I will avoid doing in this case, as I would like to spill ink, or some shit like that. You know that’s always a chance. Specially with a borrowed item. You are constantly on the verge of messing up. I know. We all know. It’s the pressure of staying consistant, and logical, and sane. We fool ourselves to stay on the game. And it’s there, a little bit on the edge, glancing at the scene.

In any case, what I was trying to say is that every time I go back to that point in the book where I last left my reading, I need to be able to go back to the point where Woo Pak left that last intense message I needed to come back to. To make a point. To deliver this other thought. Writers do that. I’ve heard them say it when they show up in that other state of mind you get yourself into when you are speaking for an audience. And then you are no longer a writer, but also an entertainer. Publicly addressing crowds, sometimes even larger than 9 people.

So when I go back to read I’m not in the page where the last message that signal my writing spirit erupted, so I need to go back to the last two or three pages, in order to get back in track with a stream of consciousness. So I do. And then I wonder what I was looking for. For everything turns out to be truth. Slightly more intense in places I hadn’t wondered upon. And I keep going back, maybe, to find what my past reading found that now is eluding me. And I wonder if I put then, on this second reading, the Donosti map a page earlier than the last time I read, because I’d be already signaling the place where I needed to come back to, to write, not to keep reading.

So you see, Woo Pak becomes like this pleasent conversion of time. I can move back and forth this stream, as time should allow to do, for any given timeline. But we are always so focused on going forward, we sometimes disregard the fact that time also has that negative ride: backwards.

And this also why I don’t feel alone anymore. I found a place in which I can excercise this going back. And I am enjoying myself. In this silent mode. Everytime Woo Pak kicks me out of that book, and into this one.

I keep reading back and back and get entangled with that direction of the book. And I’m already hooked. I’m back to the point that I last wrote about. About typing in a computer or typing in a typewriter. As an exercise to rewrite a single page. Over and over. Until you have cleaned it up. Something I never do. As write directly on the cloud. And almos never edit. Which is my own little purgatory.

It’s the sense of writing. The interconection with reading. How they are both there. The silences. Of the book. But also of this other time: the writing one. Even if it is closer to something you may relate to, like reading a post. Or like reading an actual book. Just to organize your time around something physical. Not just a screen. A real human interaction. I also write on paper. It nos just gives me pleasure, it also sits on a different table than writing on the computer or right into the page with an Olivetti. I used to own a typewritter. Not anymore.

The labour of scribes and editors and printers and proof-readers, [ ] Because of the work of these dedicated people, he says, we can now pick up the words of singular men and women and read them and listen to them and question them and live with them in greater intimacy than we do with our own spouses or partners. For a persona like myself, he says, with no country and no language to call his own, a life without Sophocles and Dante and Donne and Stevens would be intolerable.

Gabriel Jsopivici, Moo Pak

In fact I came into this writing exercise today to speak about the silence in books. The silence in writing. The intimacy of being alright with yourself. How writing and reading is part of it. How the author is aligned with Proust about the kind of special silence books have. And I’ve gone back too far back, to point out he craft of those who rescued the ancient voices of the past. Others burned books and libraries. Entire cultures. Washed away and mistreated by our current western ways, disregarding our infliction of damage in this bluring effect.

The most terrible thing that has happen to people today, he says, is that they have grown frightened ofsilence. Instead of seeking it as a friend and as a source of renewal they now try in every way they can to shut it out.

Gabriel Jsopivici, Moo Pak

This is has grown worst nowadays. Silence is not there anymore. Everyone’s got some source of continuos distraction in the mobile phone. It’s not even a complete song. It’s a message to keep you hooked to a short spasm of blabering. Something intense as pill, or distractful enough to catch your attention. We are switcing channels all the time. Endlessly. Which leaves no space for silence. And that’s not just a thing to miss, but also the source of being alright with yourself. No matter what. Books, silence, writting, it’s all part of the source of inmense power we have refill ourselves. We can bring it up as a routine to heal. Walks. To the mountain. Walks with a friend, with different kinds of friends, to align and talk, and to share the silences in between.

ALLS

Walking and talking

An introduction to the walking podcast

Talking the walk and walking the talk

«At the same time, he says, unlike the strolls you are reduced to taking in a city like Paris or New York, you can walk at a decent pace in the London parks and on the London heaths, at the sort of pace that gets the blood flowing and there is nothing more conducive to good talk thatn the healthy flowing of the bood in the veins and a decent walking rhythm»

Moo Pak, Gabriel Josipovici

For quite some time, I’ve made walking a relevant aspect of my routine. Moreover, these walks have represented a way in which I could also improve the mental thought that pops up in any given walk you take. But explicity so, I’ve made a format that includes recording a podcast as the ultimate conversation within yourself, as an exploration to dedicate this thought to align the elements that converge between my current internal journey, my external interaction with society, as I walk to places where I’m suppose to go.

So when I go to work, in the time it takes me to go from my home to the bus stop, which is around 9 to 15 minutes, I launch another session of the Walking Podcast. «Hello, this is Golman, and welcome to another episode of the Walking Podcast. Talking the walk and walking the talk.» That’s my entry line in every episode. Then there’s nothing but the string of thought that comes with the day. This is no other that an immediate connection with the moment. Each step at a time. It’s a certain way to address that I am here, alive, and in this simple gesture, I will align myself with my inner forces to make of this day one that counts.

So that’s what I do. And they all turn out to be versions of the same conspiracy: what if we all could be actors of revelation of NEW collective framework that enables us to become active actors or a greater, fairer, gentler version of our humanity? What will it take for a collective instruments and mechanisms to bring out this emergent structure to reflect on change, impact and tranformation of our global ecosystem?

Yet, Jack Toledano talks about another type of walk. One you make with another person, to strike a conversation. I agree. That’s the most sympathetic way of striking a mood for the direct interaction between two people. The way in which you connect with other, by interacting with what’s in stake, whatever subject pops ups, that requires the immediacy of a response, and the pause and attention of a good listener, and the iteration of evolving feedback.

I’ve practiced those walks. I’ve been exploring the transit of my city, Barcelona, in order to understand the unfolding of each journey and pathways that interconnect the diversity of borroughs, as I understand that walking here is as rich as walking through London parks. It’s not a walking competition, but I’ve managed to do so by allowing myself to be doing those walks as an exploration of my surroundings, at first, and then as a possibility to show others that journey, with the sense of discovery and companionship, that one gets by simply breaking down through unchartered territories. And there, in those walks, the talks and conversations gain a new dimention.

Nietzsche perhaps overdid it, he says, as he overdid everything, in his insistence that the only thoughts worth preserving are those that come to one on walks and in his conviction that what was wrong with Descartes and Kant was that they refused ever to get off their backsides.

While Jack Toledano has something clear: «I personally, Jack says, don’t know what it means to think, either walking or sitting, but I know that the only way I can make anything that will cause other to think is sitting at my typewriter at my desk and the only way I can talk is walking.

The walking podcast

Letting go to find the literature within your head

«Writing, he says, is a means of escape from the self as well as a means for discovery»

About Jack Toledano way of writting. Moo Pak, Gabriel Josipovici.

Writting. That’s the act. If one writes something is expressed. Good, bad, who cares. Writting takes you places. You may not know where it will end. But it triggers something that you don’t realise until it’s been written. And there’s no other way. It needs to come out a stream of conscious tought that is being spilled somewhere. That kind of freedom is what Jack Toledano is talking about when whe says this to the narrator of Moo Pak. And I couldn’t agree more with it.

Nevertheless, he goes on to rant against handwritting or using word processors in a way that he describes asn inhibitors of this freedom to let go. It cannot be done, he says. Or at least he exposes that it’s not availbe to him. As the little humming noise on the electronic typewritter and continuos glow of the red light that turned on to signal acusssingly his pauses when he stayed still for a moment to think between each moment of clear writing impulses.

Format and working mechanisms are for each to shape into our own way of delivering what it is we want to do. The creative process, in a broader sense than just writing could allow many other formats to produce some sort of spell that represents the artistic form and shape of the piece that encapsulates the profound meaning of our art. While I have explored many formats, I respect the people that find the clear pathway of a specific format that produces the results they are satisfied with. And I’ve also encouraged the transition from different formats to force myself to deliver the equivalent liberation at different wavelenghts of my own developement as a creator. This to me has represented new pathways to find myself in unexpected places I would have not imagined to reach if I had not turn to that spell, with those new tools, rules and mecanisms to follow through.

And eventualy, too, to break.

Jack Toledano says you can’t let go with a pen or a word-procesor. I believe you could. But then he also talks about a little conforence in London with Borges, where Q&A were addressed in written form for him to be read, so that he could say which one he would answer. Why don’t you write about women? If it was because he didn’t think of them. He said that’s why he writes, so he wouldn’t be thinking about them all the time. And that’s were jack Toledano finds the reason and importance of writting: escaping from a daily nimeous routines: «That is why a pean or a word-processor is no use, Jack Toledano said that day on Hampstead Heath, with a pen or a pencil you cannot escape yourself and your fantasies and why else does one write if it is not to escape from the prision-house of the self and its banalities?«

«Pens are for Victorian novelist, he said, and word-processors are playful post-modernists»

I guess I would be the in between of all those fools…

Starting at the top of the page

When I write I just let go of myself. I see the stuff coming out of the screen as if it is something that’s just been produced by an electric interaction among the components of my brain. And in a way, that’s what’s happening. But in a more deeper way, what’s going on here is a connection of the immediacy that occurs among the fingertips of my hands, working like a pianist composes, to come out with a sentence, a word, or an entire paragraph, that somehow tells my story.

I’ve just encounter a way to move forward by showing up to places and interacting with people that could allow me to produce a further essence of the next step in my creative process. I need to force the entry to the places I know I have to show up to. And they are not going to come to me if I don’t knock out the walls that I’ve paved so close around my confort zone that my moving out towards the place of action is not quite occuring by yet another pause. Action takes a move. Even if it’s a slow move, but in the right direction, that could be all I need. Day by day.

I’ve had this force driven me before. Like in any given moment in which I’ve set out myself to define a campaign of any kind. I’ve worked around my own personal campaign. For any given election. For any given «selling point». For any given project. And there is too much noise already in the surroundings to pay attention to yet another fool. But that’s the case for all of us. That’s the cas for any given soul, who’s trying to come out of the shell, and cry out to the world: «listen to this«.

It’s not listen to me.

It’s this.

It’s the form of you tought. The complexity or simplicity of the way in which the story is being exposed. The ancient art of showing up. With something worth reading. Something worth digging. Something that builds up a wish-to-go-somewhere-else.

I’m constantly moving. And hiding. I’ve been hiding from myself, my pathway, and my inevitable fall. I’ve been delaying the confrontation with that other moment of dealing with the reactions towards my expression: doubt, fear, anger, joy, laughter, pity, ressonance, dispear, anxiety, revolution, meh,…

It’s a game of reflections, shadows, mirrors and deceit. And among all those different spectrums, there is something laying thin among the substance of how it’s all interconnected. It’s that complex framework, the lines that connect the different aparently unrelated states what moves me to continue to explore. I’ve been exploring for so long, and now I need to convince myself to reinterpret the time and the things that I’ve written, expressed, doodled, in so many as 999 places, where the essence of myself was able to break the lock that kept me hid. It’s this second time around the one that counts. It’s this time, through this effort, where I will find the balance of my field. The nature of this NEW me.

NEW us.

NEWUS.

NEWME.

NEWI.

NEWAI.

I’ve been playing along in a different dimention. I’m ready to connect back with my previous self. And go beyond both places, to an orthogonal direction: NEW.

Vamos a empezar… otra vez

Este lugar no es más que un eterno retorno. Siempre vuelvo con la misma expectativa de organizarme y relanzar la oportunidad de salir. Y de ver qué pasa. Y luego no salgo. No pasa nada.

No pasa nada.

Es decir, que tampoco pasa nada si no pasa nada.

Es lo que los que nos ponemos excusas pensamos. Y de alguna manera tenemos razón. Se trata sólo de una autocensura. Un lugar común. Un pretexto eterno. La voluntad de no-ser.

¿Ser o no-ser?

Y elegimos no-ser.

Y no pasa nada.

Pero nada de nada.

Y lo que queríamos ser se queda mirándo de reojo. Como queriendo decir algo. Como sabiendo que es un engaño. Que todo es un engaño. Incluido esto. Una distracción de mago para que nada pase. Y quedarnos tan tranquilos. Dentro de nuestro plan b.

Y el plan b no deja de ser un sitio cómodo. Un sitio que siempre cuesta mantener. Porque también estuvimos sumidos en el plan c, d, e y f. Y no pintaban bien. Fueron caídas duras que forjaron caracter. Y que nos llevaron a discutir con nuestra propia existencia el por qué de las cosas. Y lo que hicimos mal. Y lo que hiciste mal. Tú.

Por mi culpa, por mi culpa, por mi gran culpa.

Y todo vuelve a empezar.

Pero en otro momento decidí que esto no iba a ser así. Iba a a transcurrir en otro tipo de escenario. En otro tipo de actitud. Con otro plan. En otra estructura… o debo decir metaestructura. Soy un arquitecte de arquetipos. Y desde aquí voy creando carcasas vacías que pretendo rellenar, en un primer momento, con un traje a medida. Una especie de Iron Man, ahora que todo tiene que tener un símil militarista-marvelista. Vaya, he caído en la trampa.

En realidad estamos hablando de una narrativa del héroe. Nada nuevo entre todo el cúmulo de historias y estructuras que te promueven los que crearon la manera de contar historias. Y lo que nos hemos acostumbrado a ver. Y de lo que quería hacer a tener que conformarme con la estructura de las masas para la creación light… paso.

Mejor no hacer nada.

Y seguir en el continuum de la vida.

Viendo pasar el tiempo.

En la pasividad de quién se dirige al mundo desde el sofá.

Y no pasa nada.

Y desde aquí las cosas se ven mejor/peor que hace un momento. Y nada tiene que ver con quién soy o lo que hice por adoptar otra postura. Una fuera de este sitio en el que vivo enjaulado. Quizás es mi manera de exponer una situación particular. Una manera de ser en otra dimensión. Un impulso por promover otra cosa más grande de lo que hasta ahora se nos había ocurrido. Megalomanía al servicio de la comunidad.

Ya estamos. Me estoy poniendo trampas en el camino. Para tropezarme y burlarme de mi. Mientras nadie más rie. Nadie más se da cuenta. A nadie más le interesa. Es ese flujo de ideas inconexas que perdieron al auditorio en el primer desvio. Divagaciones trampa.

Yo me fui encontrando en medio de esas divagaciones. Es un poco como el amigo imaginario de Joy en Inside Out, la primera. La segunda todavía no la he visto. Está claro que hay metaestructuras mentales que interactuan dentro de la maquinaria de impulsos, shocks electricos y departamentos en el sistema complejo que se encierra dentro del craneo de cada invidividuo. Ahora mismo el mio se ha puesta a trabajar en este sentido, y nadie tiene el control de lo que aquí está sucediendo. El tren del pensamiento mental está saltándo a la pantalla. Y lo puedo leer yo, porque también lo escribo. Este triple salto mortal. Y de esto algo queda grabado en algún sitio. Pero ya en forma de texto. Esto ya es otra cosa a lo que era yo al principio de este ejercicio de presentarse a escribir.

Y de este lugar he hecho mi casa. Y de aquí no he pasado. Pero el ejercicio de ser lo que escribo está reflejado en el historial de llegar aquí y desatar este truco de magia: escribir.

Hay un punto posterior: compartir. Difundir. Pensar que alguien más podría perderse por aquí. Que aquí hay algo más que un tipo perdido en medio de una tormenta que se arremolina hacia interiores oscuros nunca antes explorados. No necesito estado de consciencia alterada para encontrar un hilo conductor que no vaya a ninguna parte. Es ya parte de lo que soy. Caos.

El límite del caos presenta una noción a contrapelo. El sentido más sublime se encuntra en medio de esta maraña de interacciones. Hemos pasado a un nivel posterior de consciencia. Y este es el camino en el que voy a desborme a mi mismo en un plano temporal que vaya en dos direcciones: atrás y adelante.

Els desdoblamiento de uno mismo en dos direcciones. La primera dualidad. Dejar de ser uno… y dualizarse frente al espejo.

Pasado, futuro.

El presente no existe. Se me acaba de escapar. Y lo persigo otra vez. El tiempo en sí es una trampa, a la que volvemos sin cesar.

No hay más tiempo para divagaciones ni excusas.

Estamos en la puerta de oráculo.

Tenemos la palabra de acceso.

ALLS

El oráculo abre los ojos. Ya estamos dentro.